500 UP...

Its not every day you rack up 500 of anything.
Well, except minutes. And heartbeats. And metres walked. And millilitres of pee. And...

Well, apart from all that...
Its not every day you rack up 500 of anything.

But today was one of them.

After being anally retentive enough to log all my windsurfing sessions since 1997, as you do, (http://www.baywx.com/Sailing-Days.txt), its happened.
Five. Hundred. Days.
So what to do for the big five zero zero?
Epic wavesail at 'Longarms?'
Crack 40 knots on a speed run?
Go for my first forward loop at Ricketts?
Yeah, all hero stuff and worthy of the occasion, sure.
But what did we actually do? 


Well... 10 knots. Ok... 2 second max of 9.34knots to be precise. Now yes, 10 knots is slower than a wet week and highly unlikely to enter you into the windsurfing hall of fame, but we wanted to do something different. And the wind was light and the inlet siren song was beckoning... so we bunged a sail on the SUP board and made an attempt to sail to the mouth of Shallow Inlet. Ok... we only made it 2/3 way - current and wind worked against us - but a) it was magnificent being out there all on our own, and b) in the process, we had plenty (2 hours) of solitary meditative and thinking time. And in the thinking time we thought about our best/worst list from the 500...

So here goes.

Me in smoke haze on Mad Mike Monday (Dec 11 2006)

Best session: Always the last one... but Mad Mike Monday was pretty hard to beat.
Proudest Moment: Three way tie - watching Mistress P crack 30 knots at Sandy/1 y.o son standing on sail, grabbing boom, beaming up a smile and pretending he was windsurfing/Freesail magazine publishing my article on driving to W.A to windsurf (and paying me $100 too. Yes, I know they ripped me off, but hey,... I got paid to write my crap).
Biggest Wipeout: Getting fully smeared by a 5+metre monster set and being held underwater with no gear and thinking... "Geez, this is not a bad way to go out" before rational thought kicked in and we swam to the surface like a bastard. Then got hit by the next wave in the set. Then the next. And the next... See pic below.

Aftermath of Biggest Wipeout - Sandy Point

Most Annoying: Semi-permanent ear gunk infection-y thingy from too much time in water. (But too-much-time-on-water is barely enough.)
Most Bizarre: Wally arriving home with no gear on his roof - and no idea where it all blew off either. (Somewhere between Korumburra and Mentone; gear never found...)
Most Stoke: Over-rotating a back loop and landing with my knee in the sail - actually left a dimple! (Sadly, still haven't landed one properly 5 years later...)
Biggest wimpout: Never even tried a forward loop :-( Wimp wimp wimp
Dumbest obsession: Doing a goddamn duck gybe - secretly sailing at Elwood to nail it away from my mates...
Longest walk of shame: Thinking "Gee this sail is getting old" about 2 minutes before it blew itself to smithereens... about 2 km down the beach from where I started at Rye. Stashed gear in the bushes, walked back, then DROVE up the highway to the GPS waypoint where I'd left my stuff... (felt rather chuffed with my logic and GPS skills on thatta one, must admit)
Most annoying: Those goddamn Ricketts Point sea urchins; many a minute has been spent with the dettol and tweezers sitting on the bathtub soaking feet...

Wildest wildlife: Lying in the water off Green Point (Brighton) next to my gear as a flock of Australian Gannets dived on a baitball all around me. Then realising "oh poop... my sail is clear monofilm..."
Longest sideways sail: Middle Park, when my fin dropped out of the bottom of my board 300m offshore. Had to do a dead hang and slide sideways all the way in. Only THEN found out some fin bolts are metric and some imperial...

Longest walk of shame Rye - red line is swim in. Car required to collect kit.

"Did that really happen?" moment: Sitting with JM talking bollocks on the beach, when a truly freak gust picked up 'his' sail and flipped it over - straight onto my fin. Pop. Bang. Big rip - small problem: he had borrowed my sail... (All he could say - and understandably so - was "Did that really happen?")
Biggest Freak out: tie -- watching Mistress P almost get decapitated by a kitesurfer off Lancelin in 2000/watching Mistress P sail straight into a cray pot line off Coronation (W.A) and get flung like a rag doll in the jaws of a rottweiller... when she was 5 months preggas. "Well I tried to land on my head..." Not sure if that helped my heartrate.

Sign of things to come; Fave spot/girl/future son

Classic moment: Too many, but having Mistress P follow me out into the surf at Coro (W.A) and then looking back to see her get catapulted off the top of a 2m wave,... meaning she ALMOST did a full forward loop without trying. She was a tad, errr... surprised. (Didn't follow me out that often after that... strangely.)
Biggest disappointment; Any session where you get totally skunked/Going 500 sails and still not being able to fast tack properly. The latter is almost pathetic.
Most keen: Driving all the way to Lake Connewarre (near Geelong) to sail in shallow mud. (Why?) Watching Frosto spend a few hours searching in said mud on hands and knees for a lost fin was also high on the amusement scale.
Longest windsurf 'commute': 3000+km across the Nullarbor. Loved every tree-less minute of it.
Best/Worst line: (NB: NOT said by me) "The only way that could have been better was if some hot chick was strapped to my board giving me a headjob..." (To be honest, they weren't far off the mark... it was a pretty good session.)

Cruising the Sandy Point Inlet. Fanatic Bee/Naish Force

Good Samaritan moment: Rescuing a somewhat obese lady who'd crazily gone fishing in a tiny Kmart blow-up boat in a howling offshore wind at Shallow Inlet and been blown away. Literally. Lost her boat and rods and oars and all her stuff... sounds funny, but she wasn't far off drowning at the time. Sailed out and dragged her back in - still reckon I have the gouge marks in my board from her clawing at it and hanging on so tight. (Don't think she even said thanks.)
Fave spots: Coronation Beach W.A (windmills) on a south-southeasterly late in the day - preferably sans sharks/Longarms (Sandy Point) on a south easterly/Rye winter morning northerly/North Ricketts on 28knots WSW
Worst Spot: Cherry Lake, Altona. The only good thing to come out of Altona is 98 RON premium unleaded - how I managed to get talked into sailing there is beyond me. Cut my foot on the bottom, forced to soak it in dettol for a month in lieu of amputation.
Must-visit spots in next 500: Gerroa (NSW), Robe (South Australia), Gnarloo (Western Aus) 
Sweetest setup: Wind - 28 knots/Starboard Acid 80/4.1 Neil Pryde Zone/23cm Naish fin. Nuff said.

Pre Sail-log, circa 1985. Mum would drive (Thnx Mum).

Weediest sail: Lake George, South Australia; if you didn't get on the plane in 10 metres you had to stop, de-weed your fin, start again. Arguably also my 'saltiest' sail... And people camp on the mud spit in the full sun. Those wacky Croweaters...
Most beautiful sail: Lucky Bay, Cape Le Grand National Park, near Esperance, W.A. Semi-circular bay, so you could drive on the perfect white sand till you found your favourite tack. Was the only one out - started to think "Why?" (Sharks??). Kangaroos tried to eat our Kaluhau cheesecake (but that's another story).
Longest swim: Broken uni out the back at Coronation (W.A) and board had skidaddled home on a wave,  necessitating a long and less buoyant swim-in towing my rig. Took bloody ages. But everyone kept a close eye on me so felt (almost) safe.
Best "mental image": A photo mind snapshot of one of my first ever true down the line wavesails... scooting across the clean green wave, nothing but the curl infront of me with Wilsons Prom in the background... I thought I'd arrived in heaven.

It only took a few years to work out how to turn around...

Worst own injury: Catapulting headfirst into my sail at 30 knots on eastern sandbar, Shallow Inlet speed run. Sore neck for a month, crick for a year. 

Worst friends injury: tie - Dave Walland stingray stabbing at Ricketts Point (and hospitalisation)/Joel Ryan broken leg in surf in Waratah Bay (and hospitalisation). 
Funniest Video: tie -- Frosto's "mooning" of the Sandy Point inlet as the last scene in a 30 sec sweeping panorama of the incredible view from the top of the highest dune/Joel getting his wetty cut off, then leg set with a ballerina point (necessitating his cast to be cut off and they start again), after aforementioned leg breaking
Best video: Adrian's 'Indian Inc' epic covering our first W.A trip. Full 45 minutes of stoke, and great music selection too... Oh, and Robby Naish's RIP. (Still cant believe kiddies under the age of 25 have never seen it... Still cant believe he sails pink sails.)
Worst quote in a windsurfing video: Me - after being told a crack had been spotted in my F2 256 waveboard and maybe I should take it a tad easy for fear of a long swim with the sharks... "Death or Glory!" (followed in the background by Walland's "...death more likely..." )

F2 256 at Coronation Beach, W.A. No cracks showing (yet)

Saddest moment: Dumping the remains of my snapped (and aforementioned) F2 256 in the bin at Geraldton tip. You served me well grasshopper. And you did politely wait until the last hour of our last day of a three week trip to bite the dust. Much appreciated.
Biggest annoyance: Jet skis. We call then jerk skis. Followed closely by stubbing my toe on the universal. I hate that. (Yes, I have a rubber cone now, thank you.)
Most unusual catapult: Sailing at 25knots plus off Ricketts Point... and stopping dead after hitting a semi-submerged fishing bucket! I flew like superman (and I don't mean with my speedos on the outside of my wetsuit).
Best community spirit: Standing on the beach on a perfect sou'wester Shallow Inlet speed sail day, but unable to get out as I'd broken my mast the day before. Random guy (now known as Andrew Daff) says "Why don't you borrow my spare" - and gave me a 100% carbon KA. Felt bloody brilliant! (No, I didn't break it too.)
Best race result: Well, my only race result... 36th in the Breakwater to Beacon. Total of 28.8km in 58 minutes, one knee through the sail, and WON the random prize (a new sail... karma dude....$1000 worth... thanks SHQ). Gotta like that...

Mike (1 y.o) - starting his 500... Ricketts Pt.

Best after sail routine: Barbeque shapes, cold beer, shower (preferably with beer), steak-based meatfest, block of Cadbury's finest, watch (with mates ) video of days sailing, bed (sans mates).
Worst after sail beer: Emu Bitter. We called it Emu Extract. (It was cheap. We were in W.A.)
Best crapping on venue: The sea wall at north Ricketts. Many a tall tale told - if only that bluestone could talk. Followed by the sea wall at Middle Park. Anyone who tells you windsurfing isn't half about the crapping on afterwards isn't a windsurfer. Just like sitting in the surf lineup isn't actually about surfing (but that's a secret)...
Happiest memory (pre-sail log); walking out the back gate of my Nana's block of units to sail at Aspendale beach, then after 30 minutes looking back and seeing her sitting on the sand, alone, just watching in awe. She had barely been to the beach in years as she was too old and frail. That effort almost teared me up... She cooked the meanest scones. (Our daughter Sarah's middle name is in her memory)
Number of sharks seen: 0 (Had to include that; non-windsurfers always ask...)
Best times: Any time sailing with friends. I love youse all.